Survivor: South Pacific "A Closer Look" (Recap Episode)

Recap Episode: "A Closer Look"
Original Airdate: November 23rd, 2011
American Ratings: 7.85 million viewers

Ah, the annoying recap episode. . .

What can you do? It was the Thanksgiving break, after all. But at least this one had enough new scenes to be interesting as well as entertaining.

Still, host Jeff Probst needs to tone it down a bit, methinks. One of the most memorable seasons of Survivor??? Are you kidding me??? The best since Heroes vs Villains, no question. But nothing that had former fans who abandoned the show over the years returning in droves. . .

Some of the most memorable first-time players ever??? WTF??? There is no All-Stars material here. . .

So here are my thoughts on some of the nineteen new scenes which were featured in this week's episode.

Day 1

As a Mormon, Dawn finds the idea of joining the rest of the tribe for a swim in nothing but her underwear to be more than a little off-putting. The Coch-machine isn't thrilled by the prospect either.

This is the best shape I've ever been in. As pathetic as it is to say, this is as good as it gets for me.

Hmmm, that's really saying something. . .

Considering the less than warm welcome he received from the Upolu tribe, even Coach would prefer to have Ozzy on his tribe rather than himself.

Sophie finds Brandon a bit creepy. Sharp girl. . .

Day 6

Papa Bear giving Cochran advice on how to pick up women. Priceless. At least he is aware that eye contact is important. Sadly, the pointers fail to seduce Whitney when the Coch-man gives it a go.

Day 15

Coach is livid when he sees Mikayla putting two tea spoons of cream and sugar in her coffee this morning. Always the wise Samourai warrior and philosopher, Benjamin roasts pork fat to make Mikayla sick to get back at her.

Cochran shares a gross kindergarten story with Elyse. Apparently the young Coch-train was about as inadequate as his older self. In order to prevent being overheard by his classmates while sitting on the throne, the child who would one day become a Law student at Harvard elected to shit himself. What can I tell you? Shit happens. . .

Day 17

Benjamin "Man of God" Wade makes me want to puke. I mean, where are the crazy stories and anecdotes that made him so entertaining in the past???

Brandon's eruption at tribal council last night confirmed to a lot of people that he really doesn't have any business in this game.

Back at Savaii, Cochran is becoming more and more of an outsider within his own tribe. Keith and Whitney have gotten very close. So much so that Whitney realizes that they both need to be careful, for couples can be powerful in this game.

I've had the distinct pleasure of sleeping in the lovers' bungalow with Keith and Whitney for two nights.

Day 18

Ozzy makes the Coch-train an object of ridicule by ordering him to hold a chicken as he beheads the bird.

At the merge, Benjamin isn't impressed with Ozzy's beach bum attitude.

Ozzy, no wonder you've never won Survivor. No wonder you always get blindsided. Because you're a freaking idiot. This is pathetic, man.

It appears that the fire at the former Savaii camp stinks to high heaven. A Rick quote. I kid you not:

This is terrible. I'd rather sleep down from a garbage dump than that fire. That fire kills you.

Coach isn't blind to the sleeping arrangements. Seeing Cochran sleeping alone, Benjamin decides to take the young man under his wing. In a classic crackpot moment, Coach comes up with Greek mythology identities for all the castaways. Apparently, the Coch-train is Hercules. . .

I thought that my name should be Zeus.

Day 20

Ozzy, the natural provider of the merged tribe, doesn't really want to share the fish he catches with the enemy.

Feeding the competition is kind of a weird idea. You know what I mean?

After winning immunity on Day 21, Ozzy tried to reel Coach in by promising the Dragon Slayer to take him to the end with him. Coach may be a fool, yet he knows that Ozzy is lying.

A few days later, with Ozzy gone to Redemption Island, Brandon wanted to become the new provider for the tribe, an attempt that fails miserably. Starving, the tribe decides to eat one of the chicken. Brandon, dumbass that he is, drops the bird when he takes it out of the cage. The chicken escapes due to Brandon's stupidity.

Brandon loses the chicken. You know, maybe Brandon can pray for it to come back and it'll show back up.

And finally, we get confirmation that Sophie is responsible for Albert not making a move as they could still count on the Savaii votes at tribal council.

Mixing things up this early is crazy.

Hopefully she'll remember those words when the Upolu crew decides to get rid of her. It's obvious that Coach has no intention of bringing both Albert and Sophie to the final three.

In any event, we'll know for sure next week. . .